Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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