ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just want to make out with him forever
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
