how can u be prego again
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
