i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
