Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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