Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Actions speak louder than pants.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Randomize
