ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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