after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
