I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
