I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
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