he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
