waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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