Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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