these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
A+ Viking dick
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
