the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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