so explain again why im purple
no
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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