1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
