We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
