why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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