And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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