The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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