ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
