just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
