I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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