i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
