Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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