i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
