Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize