We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
