Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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