On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So many bounce houses so little time
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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