Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize