i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize