i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
