...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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