marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
