I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
