worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize