his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
