Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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