Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
