I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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