The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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