he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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