just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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