if i can run in heels then i can drive
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
