Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I need to calm my uterus...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
