He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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