I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
