rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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