so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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