I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
