just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
