Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
