Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
