i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
This is my gift to your gina
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
well, you know. whores of a feather.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
