Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
