I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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