Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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