I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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