I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
